Andrea Mara

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8 listicles I nearly wrote this week

3 things that are pretty great about freelancing at home

This would-be list, written only in my head, was inspired by being home three times this week when the postman brought parcels, and raiding the advent calendar for mid-morning chocolate. Handy.

8 things that are a bit crap about freelancing at home

Like realising that there was always a lot more chocolate in my office than there is in my advent calendar. And that my work Christmas party this year will be a quiet affair. In my kitchen. Probably during the day. Without wine. Well, we’ll see about the last one.

6 things I didn’t think I’d have to say to the kids

Like “Yes I did say toilet roll goes in the toilet but no, I did not mean for you to put the entire toilet roll in” and “Take the balloon sword out of the toilet” and “No you’re not adopted, I’m your real mum.”

18 times multi-tasking was completely pointless

Like listening to tables from one child, reading from a second and shouting from a third, while misspelling an email, burning dinner, taking deep breaths and clutching at straws.

1 time multi-tasking was actually quite nice

Listening to Christmas FM and writing Christmas cards in the car while one child was at her gym class and the other two read books, fighting only sporadically and reasonably quietly.

4 times my kids made me cry inside

Me: Why are you elbowing me in the stomach?

Four-year-old: Because it’s just so squishy!

Me: Isn’t it nice we both have blue eyes?

Four-year-old, examining me carefully: Well, your eyes are kind of full of tiny red lines…

Me: Of course, I’m very young.

Eight-year-old: Ha ha ha ha ha!

7 domestic moments that brought me to my knees

This week’s lows included hoovering an entire bowl of spilled stuffing out of the oven (isn’t it amazing what you can hoover) and a massive failed attempt to bake biscuits for teachers – due to using the wrong type of butter, the whole house smelled of cheese. The kids were retching. This is never a positive sign when you’re baking.

5 times Christmas concerts, plays, shows and fairs clashed with work

Just, every day. But it’s OK, this list could also have been called “5 times seeing my kids on stage made me bawl.”

(I didn’t write any of the above-mentioned listicles in the end – with all the Christmas shows, there just wasn’t time)

mid morning advent snack
mid morning advent snack
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